My friend’s boyfriend is suffering from commitment-phobia. My stepbrother suffers from it too, it is an unfortunate affliction, which renders males past forty completely redundant in the act of:

– proposing marriage

– having children

– closing off ties with ex girlfriends (which in my book is ‘hedging your bets’)

– signing up to a mortgage

– eloping on the mini-break of a life-time fully paid for

The last point my girlfriend had to contend with when she handed her boyfriend of a year the brochure to the Gleneagles resort in the Scottish Highlands, having paid for a mid-week break that was meant to commence this week. Boyfriend bottled out with some bullshit about some previous commitments (despite the fact that she had checked he would be free surreptitiously prior to booking, and she had made arrangements with his mother to look after the dogs). Add to this the news that she heard (via the cleaner) that his ex had been in the house and you have major grounds for ‘WTF I’m outta here’. But she just won’t do it. It was he that confessed to her while in a long-term relationship with his ex at the time (he had been living with her for many years) that he loved her and had done for a while but had never previously had the guts to say it. She very gallantly turned round to him and said she wouldn’t even consider him until he had split up from his ex and she had moved out of the house. That happened, he made the split and then turned up on her door with a bunch of roses and a table booked at a very nice restaurant. She relented at first but then soon gave in to his charms and all seemed hunky dory. Then 6 months in he seems to be getting cold feet and refuses to tell his ex about their new relationship and actually denies the relationship existed. A year later he is still yet to tell his ex and it appears she is still very much on the scene, leaving her stuff still in the house and giving him christmas presents.

I would have bailed out but my friend is hanging on in there thinking that he is emotionally weak and just needs the push to overcome the guilt over his ex and get their relationship out of limbo to something more secure. She went to see a fortune teller a few months ago, who said that she needs to stay with him as he needs help to get out of his relationship mess and then they will be together by the end of January. I am smelling lots of rats but want the best for my friend – are there any males out there who can relate to what her boyfriend is going through? Or is this just some made up ploy to delay the fact that she is more into him than he is into her?

Hope the first week of the new year has treated you well.

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Thanks for reading.