Toddlers and testosterone

“Ow, that was my foot!”…..”Dont do that to the dogs!”……..”Leave Sisters toy you are breaking it!”…..I scream ‘No’, my daughter screams ‘No’, the dogs growl in their doggy way of saying ‘No’. I contemplate running out into the garden screaming like a banshee, but instead I keep drinking coffee…..

All this commotion caused by a little boy of 2 and a half years.

Once we had friends round he seemed to have calmed down a bit but not sure whether the effect of his behaviour was simply diluted.

Then we got him out into the open air. Before letting the dogs out, I got him out of his seat, put his wellies on and just said ‘OK now go….burn off all that energy and testosterone and whatever else is wiring you today’. We were at the horses that I help to look after and so there was an open field reserved for winter grazing that baby boy and the dogs could just let rip in, along with, as it turns out, their 2 friends and my daughter. I must admit I felt pretty liberated too – an open space, wind in your hair and some primal screaming.

Then later at bed-time, baby boy woke up walked onto the landing and promptly projectile vomited everywhere. I managed to get him into the bathroom for the next installment. Once that was all over and I was about to wash him, the poor little chap weed himself.

I have been a full-time mother for a few weeks now and it is one rollercoaster of an experience. One day you are in awe, the next you are happy, then you just want to cry and sometimes jump off a bridge. But thats what, bizarrely, makes it so special.

This blog is for Unicef.

Thanks for reading.