Yes to lost minutes

Saying ‘yes’ is catching up with me. Sometimes, if you write something down in a list it helps you to see that actually there isn’t that much to sort out, so here goes…

– do parish council minutes, email all partners re web links, start post box listing application, start handover document, do tweet schedule before leave, supervise daughter’s first tutor session, get children used to childminder through booking in time with her, get the working party for playground off the ground (Scuse the pun), go to first meet with new team, do medical questionnaire, get road closure for school fair booked, contact parish council re: using green for said fair, find out how much was raised through textile recycling at school, get November dinner and dance bash booked, set-up childcare voucher scheme, put for sale signs in husbands truck (to sell-off as no longer needs it and we need more cash), get Sailing sessions booked in over Easter, sort out childminders sessions walking the dogs……I’m sure there was something else…oh yes, train for the swimathon.

Everyone has lists like these as long as their arms(s) so no wonder we are all running around like headless chickens with our heads either stuck in a computer or behind a steering wheel. While saying yes has opened up so many experiences and opportunities, there are times when just the experience of taking stock will suffice.

My baby boy said to me earlier, “Mummy why don’t you stand still”. I am always saying to him “just a minute” when those minutes are all I, and anyone else for that matter, has got..

This blog is for UNICEF.

Thanks for reading.

ladies of many ‘leisures’

School fundraising, cake sales, second-hand uniform sales, raffles, fairs, bingo nights, quiz nights, wine tasting, barbecues, drinks nights, sponsored walks, car boot sales, guest speaker nights, barn dance nights, band nights, silent auctions….. How many of these can you fit in an academic year?

I have just returned from a meeting of our PTA, which seems to take place at various mums houses that are all considerably grander than mine. In fact following the meeting I felt a bit like Rodney from Only Fools & Horses when I asked the Mum dropping me off home in her luxurious 4×4 to just set me down at the end of the street (Unlike Rodney I wasn’t going to pretend I lived in a mansion). This particular Mum is a northerner so a bit more grounded. In fact regardless of money and who does what, I found myself in a situation where we were all working together to achieve the aim of getting our Headmaster his all singing all dancing white boards. But at £3000 each for every year group, it’s quite a bit of money to raise. The events you organise tread the fine line between providing entertainment and making lots of money. There will always be one (or several) that complain they have been ‘fleeced’ at an event but you go to a fundraiser to have fun and help the school – that’s the trade-off for having fun isn’t it? People like myself can’t afford to make big donations so I donate my time instead. 

Of course the Mums that are part of the committee are not, as you might think, ladies of leisure, but Mums who do have a day job or jobs as well as caring for their children. Which makes it all the more challenging. 

I wonder what what the so called ‘ladies of leisure’ do? I think it is a myth..

This blog is for UNICEF.

thanks for reading.

At home Mum on the rocks

This was an email I sent to my Mum in Espana:
Dear Mum,
…………Talking of birthdays, there has been no improvement between me and hubby. He is refusing to apologise and I am refusing to let it go so we are now in stalemate, co-existing under the same roof but not communicating unless absolutely necessary – it is hideous. As a protest I have stopped cooking meals for him and doing his washing. As a result there is so much less for me to do which is great! He took an aversion to my lovely retro phone so that is now unplugged on the side and it is just being used for role play games – I didnt even bother to have a battle over that one. It turns out that he had to go through the formal process of interview at his work to get the full-time role and he had been getting worked up and stressed about it – think my birthday was in the wrong week. He complains that he is tired which is true but I still cant find a valid excuse for being so horrible on my birthday so I dont have much sympathy. I think something needs to change as the wear and tear of the job and the commute and working 6 days a week is causing wear and tear on our home life. I have threatened separation and his pride gets in the way of fully taking that on board and he just goads me to go ahead and do it. I am worried that by the time he realises what a fool he has been, it will be too late and too much water will have passed under the bridge. I want to do what I can (e.g. mediation) and may suggest it when he is ready to discuss further as I feel he would benefit from the views of a third party neutral person.
In the meantime, I have started looking at applying for jobs again as the last time we hit rock bottom I was an ‘at home Mum’ and I think that this is a recipe for disaster as far as our marriage is concerned!
Thankfully Lucy and Karen are on the phone/ in person to support me but what I find most worrying this time round is that i dont feel sad enough about the situation. Its almost as if I want to see what living on  my own would be like as I have never been without him since the age of 17! Turning 35 has flicked a switch in me, in that I am now looking to the next decade thinking by the time I am 45 will I still be treading on eggshells around his moods, feeling guilty every time I use my bank card, worrying that if I purchase something for the house without his approval he will just try to chuck it away or push it to one side and  will I still have to tailor my career around his? Unless he is wiling to face up to his increasingly stubborn and belligerent behaviour (as Louise says the ‘1950’s man’ syndrome) I will have to seriously re-consider things….
As much as I love hurling cakes across the room, I would quite like to eat some birthday cake next year!
This blog is for Unicef.
Thanks for reading.