A poo story

Today I am going to talk about manure and what happens when a lot of middle class mothers get together and rub each other up the wrong way over a load of horse poo.

A school gardening club requests some manure for their environmental garden. The delivery turns up and they have forgotten about it, the delivery is at lunchtime so the school start panicking about health and safety. The manure guy asks the school to contact one of the mothers from the gardening club, who is at a coffee morning. She asks him to wait but he is too keen to dump. So pleases the Headmaster by dumping the manure right outside a classroom and then gets stuck in the school sports field, churning up the pitch. When the Gardening Mums turn up, they have an angry headteacher waiting for them, school office ladies fuming about health and safety, children running around a manure heap and the manure guy stuck in a churned up pitch.

Then ensues lots of confrontation, a few people with their noses out of joint, and Mums giving each other frosty stares the following day (not o mention sore hands and dirty nails from all the quick shovelling they had to do.

A poo story, but an entertaining one. A shit day but delightfully full of puns that would make a Bond movie scriptwriter proud.

This blog is for Unicef.

Thanks for reading.

£164 and counting..

I have been absent from blogging this weekend, so £2 in the pot for Unicef. Friday night I went out with some fellow Mums and realised how much of a lightweight I am compared to the others. It was difficult to keep track as my glass kept getting re-filled but it was around 4 glasses of red. For me thats a drinking marathon. Why is it that despite making the same mistake throughout your life, you dont finally learn as you get older? I woke up on Saturday morning and felt like s***. Whereas in my late teens and twenties, I would just lie-in and wait for the symptoms to pass, as a Mum its up at 7 and the usual dash round the house and hurrying out the door for reasons according to what day of the week it is. By the time I dropped my daughter off at Theatre school and walked the dogs in the rain, I was ready to lie down in a darkened room, the closest I could get was leaning over a very large americano while baby boy let rip in soft play.

Saturday night my mum babysat so hubby and I could go out. Armed with Tesco clubcard voucher print-outs, we had a meal and watched a film for the grand total of £18. The waiters saw us coming a mile off, no doubt thinking ‘well wave goodbye to a tip from those two skinflints’.

Gone Girl was the film. A surprisingly funny thriller, which, at times, had the whole audience laughing. It was macabre and funny and well worth the trip out.

Its worth saying that this blog has so far raised £164. Not bad for a series of ramblings from an average Mum. Unicef helps protect children in crisis worldwide. At the moment there seems to be too many crises, the 250000 children starving in South Sudan and the children suffering conflict in Syria, the scale of the famine, lack of shelter, safety and healthcare is crazy in a society that has supposedly progressed over the  centuries. Which is why organisations such as Unicef are so crucial. If you want to find out how you could contribute visit Unicef.

Thanks for reading.