What age is the best?

What age is the best? Well debatable that 32 is that good. I can’t complain. I think I am just still young enough to behave a bit recklessly:  speed, get drunk occasionally, listen to Radio One. As a parent though I am trying to be the cool Mum, which in my view involves the following:

– avoiding wearing too many tunics (done all too deliberately to cover up the hip and bum post-natal problem areas)

– I try not to embarass my 6 year old going on 16 daughter (not very successful on this one)

– avoid conversation with pushy middle-class social climbing Mums (not hard)

– Make a point of talking to the group of Mums that are often classed by the snobs as ‘have nots’ (easy as am one of them because I live in an ex-council house who cares?)

– Avoid Boden, Joules and other brands of a similar ilk like the plague.

Its very crude I know and probably come out looking a complete twat but I don’t care.

My friend’s oldest is about to embark on a career with the Royal Marines and he has been told the training he faces will be ’15 months of hell’. To an ambitious young man that sounds too good to miss. To a 30 something male with a mortgage etc that’s Ok providing there is a fuckin big pay cheque at the end. Our priorities change as we get older and that makes us more boring. Just like  switching from Radio 1 to Radio 2.

When you are 6 it seems, by observing my daughter, that the world is your oyster and anything is possible. Six year olds also don’t have a social filter when talking. As I discovered when she told the owners of our holiday property exactly how fast Mummy was driving to catch the ferry. Oh and reading my Dad’s rude card out loud in the pub without hesitating to say the word ‘arse’ as I mentioned in the previous post. I am now starting to educate her on what is and isn’t appropriate to say –  which results in  a barrage of questions – “why can’t I say that you did 130 to catch the ferry mummy?” ….”because they don’t need to know that”…..”why not”…..”because Mummy shouldn’t have been doing that speed”….”I keep telling you Mummy that you go too fast”. At this rate my daughter’s best time in life will be when she is finally in a role of authoritaaaa either as a headmistress or a cop. I am just going to have to settle with going too fast at 30.

This blog is intended to help raise money for Unicef by asking readers to kindly donate £1 when they like what they read – please visit my fundraising page at Unicef to make a donation.

Thanks for reading.

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