“I’m doing my haiiirrrr!” My daughter screamed at my hubby across the water with a slight growl at the end in response to him instructing her what to do with her dinghy. She was doing what all women do – multi-tasking. In her case, sailing her dinghy and sorting out her ponytail while she was tacking.
My initial, socially acceptable thought was to respond by scolding her for shouting at her Dad. However, I know what it is like to have someone, particularly the ‘alpha male’ tell you what to do so I respected her decision to clarify what was going on with an edge that basically said “and back the hell off I know what I am doing”.
Now, I am not trying to paint my husband as a chap who would fit in well on the set of a Mad Men episode, however he was brought up in a very traditional household. Dad worked in finance and brought home the bacon, while Mum looked after the children and the house. Although my father in law often refers to my mother in law as ‘the boss’, I am in no doubt as to who the boss is in that relationship.
Equally, I too have to pick my battles, but I do have a line. Unfortunately for my husband that line is drawn very near to the start line. What he perceives as a ‘stubborn’ reaction, I perceive to be perfectly normal. I would hate to be with a man who would allow me to dominate, I want some backbone in the relationship, but equally submission is not my forte in the face of adversity. In that situation the ‘adverse’ person can ‘go f*** themselves’.
Because our society is crawling towards true equality of the sexes, it is still vital that women have the get up and go (I restrained from using the word ‘balls’) to stand up for themselves to just be allowed to be ‘free’. Free from all the preconceived ideas that shackle the female identity – I don’t need to outline what those are.
So when I saw my daughter put my hubby back in his place, I did not read that attitude as something negative in her pre-adolescent behaviour that needed to be corrected. No, I inwardly smiled at her strength and, more importantly, her belief in the freedom to say – I am doing this my way and if that means I have to fix my hair at the same time then so be it.
This blog is for UNICEF.
Thanks for reading.