Every day I have an internal battle with what I would like to eat and what I would like to look like. It is a problem familiar with most women, we want to be stick thin but also indulge in copious amounts of chocolate, cake, sweets, cheese or whatever is your ‘thing’. For me it is chocolate and sweet stuff.
Today was not a good day.
Normally in the morning my only sugary intake is a spoonful of sugar in my coffee. Other than that I am nil by mouth. However, on Monday my friend bought me a big tub of Celebrations as a thank you for looking after her daughter for the day. This was very well received by me. Of course I couldn’t just have one, I had to have five. Then it progressed to so many that I was trying to call a halt to the binge by saying ‘just one more handful’ and then filtering out all the snickers and replacing them with more to compensate. After guzzling 70% of the tub over 2 days, I packed the remainder in a picnic for the children and my Mum today and looked angelic when I insisted everyone eat them and refused to eat any myself.
So, this morning, as well as my sugary coffee I had a few celebrations chocolates. I then had a massive pizza at lunch-time and said to my Mum ‘Oh I feel so full now, I will just have some fruit for tea, I try to keep to 1000 calories a day or less’. What a joke! I got home and had some pasta and veg to be sociable and encourage my baby boy to do the same at tea-time. Then hubby arrives home with an Indian for Two. As he sees me finish my bowl of pasta he says, ‘did you not get my text message about an Indian for supper tonight?’. Obviously not. I did put my half of the Indian in the fridge for later however where I came a cropper was finishing off my husband’s leftover naan and the tub of mini yum yums my husband had bought for pudding. These I could not resist. As they were ‘mini’, I couldn’t eat just one, I had to have two, then three. I then asked my husband to remove the tub immediately as I was starting to feel the pounds already accumulating on my thighs.
So tomorrow I am on starvation. I am not on the 5/2 diet, I try to be on the 7 day diet. No I don’t think I have an eating disorder but my granny’s 20 stone frame does haunt me a little……..
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Thanks for reading.