Sorry for the guys reading this post but I have to start with an explanation for my illogical and current fascination for all things chocolate. Yes it is that time of month but, 6 months since the Mirena coil was fitted, I should not be having ‘monthlies’. The oestrogen urge to throw a tantrum, feel rubbish and eat way more than the recommended daily allowance of sweet stuff on a monthly basis is strong and so far the monthly visit from Aunt Irma (see episode 6 of IT Crowd) is defeating Aunt Mirena hands down.
This month though the chocolate obsession is particularly intense in that my taste buds seem to reject anything else. Since having my baby boy I may as well be called vegetarian (well the type of vegetarian that will only eat chicken if there is absolutely nothing else and is cool with fish (the eating of) but read meat is a big no-no). Its partly because it made me feel sick in my first trimester and secondly because the pleasure of eating it (i.e. not that much other than for the need to get some protein) is not relative to the number of calories meat contains. So, this month I seem to be on a bizarre diet of chocolate, the occasional sugary coffee, bread (to fill me up) and fruit and veg (to prevent an early death through unhealthy eating). I am sure somewhere this diet is actually called something and has its own book and ‘how to’ guide. Whether it actually contributes to weight loss is questionable as I am sure I have exceeded 1000 calories just in chocolate intake.
Any chocolate will do, but Cadburys is the only thing that hits the spot for most British women (I have a Dutch friend who can’t stand the taste of Cadburys and doesn’t consider it to be chocolate). My baby boy is an early adopter of the Cadburys fetish and starts to babble with excitement as soon as he spots a purple wrapper. This doesn’t bode well for weight control in later life but as a grown man at least he will have a few more calories per day to play with – one of the bonuses of being male.
There is one addiction Mirena has done away with though and that is a crush on the actor Paul Walker. Prior to the coil, my interest in chocolate was equal to the frequency of daydreams about Paul Walker at a certain time of month. This no longer exists…..along with the libido, which has also temporarily departed. Oh to be a guy and to have consistent and (mostly rational) emotions….OR you could look at it the other way………when men are moody they are seriously moody and these feelings drag on because they can’t find release in chocolate, tears or romcoms with friends. I really can’t decide which sex is worse….maybe that’s the appeal with transgenders?
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Thanks for reading.