The importance of male masturbation

If you have read on you either a) do not shy away from such ‘hot’ topics, b) curious and would like to know where this post is going or c) repulsed but intrigued.

I was feeling particularly horny last night (in women it is all down to hormones) but, once satisfied then expected hubby to quickly follow suit. This took a while, so went on with it for a bit…..took even longer and started to have to resist the temptation to roll my eyes and say the ultimate ‘kill the moment’ statement “are you not done yet?”. 

When I was a girl, my Mum and I drove through a safari park and got stuck in a traffic jam in the lion’s area. I had a look around and caught sight of a Lion mounted on the back of a Lioness having  what my mother used to call ‘his wicked way’. “What’s that Lion doing Mum?” (slight pause) “He’s, um..exercising”. “The Lioness isn’t joining in though” (another slight pause) then Mum says “I think she might have a headache”.

I felt like that Lioness. I was finished, done, and was starting to get a tad bored but was being the dutiful wife. Then when we eventually got there….it wasn’t much if you catch my drift. It then dawned on me why he had been so late to bed the previous night ‘working’ in the shed at the bottom of our garden. 

I had a chat with my friends about it today. My friend’s boyfriend masturbates every day. They can grow as large as ‘melons’, hence the need to relieve oneself regularly and of course not all of us girls are like the Playboy bunnys. We feel the need too but only when hormones are flowing in the right way, we haven’t got the hump, the sun has risen next to the star sign Capricorn and there is a full moon etc etc – in other words nowhere near as frequently.

That is one of the big differences between men and women – we (girls) have raging hormones that we have to control but can’t without artificial help. Men can sort themselves out. Too much ‘build-up’ in men can make them (apparently) quite aggressive as they OD on testosterone.

Going back to my war post yesterday – maybe that’s what was needed to stop the onset of conflict……a good wank.

Sorry if I offended readers today. If you are not offended and enjoyed the post please donate £1 to Unicef – the reason for this blog. I will then endeavour to touch on more ‘below the belt’ subjects in future. However, if you were offended, please donate £1 to Unicef I will then ensure I never go below the belt again.

Thanks for reading

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s