I know you can go longer without food than water, given that our bodies are 70% made up of the stuff (or something like that). I missed a post yesterday because I was ill and dog tired. You know when you wake up and your tummy feels like its been on a roller coaster ride all night? You don’t feel like doing anything except laying flat on your back. Once upright you know you are going to be sick.
With that in mind, I still had to get up, feed baby, dress baby, feed kid, nag kid to get dressed, nag kid to turn off TV, nag kid to put shoes and socks on. Nag, nag, nag all the way to the school bus stop. I was freezing. Everyone else was in jumpers but I was dressed for an arctic winter (3 layers plus coat scarf and hat).
I then had to face work – the day from hell. My colleague was on holiday so doing the job of 2 people plus everything on deadline. I work part-time so that basically means that everything that has a deadline of a Monday or a Friday has to be done a whole lot earlier because I am not in the office on those days. So you basically have to work a whole lot more efficiently and harder for less pay. Don’t read this bit while you are eating but……once at my desk I stayed there all day because if I got up I knew I would need to rush to the bathroom. When lunch-time came around all my workmates (who I had fully briefed of the situation) tried to entice me to the dining hall but my appetite for food was the equivalent of my appetite for dog shit – I wanted to stay well, well away.
I was convinced that at some point I would start to get hunger pains but no, my body had battened down the hatches and was not letting up. I was wading through all the website work I had to do – boring repetitive clicking and clicking – while fighting off painful tummy cramps. I then had to write a few articles with poorly tummy induced writers block.
When I finally got enough courage to stand up and walk around a bit I went to get a camera from the bottom draw of a filing cabinet and wished I hadn’t. As I bent over I farted, not just any fart – it wasn’t noisy, it was deadly. If I had attempted to light it the place would have burnt down in minutes. If there had been a colour to it, it would have been shrek green. I thought to quickly abandon the area so the stench could not be linked to me but, to my horror, I was too late. Two of my workmates walked in behind me into, what must have been for them, an assault on their nostrils. I did not look at their expressions but instead went into denial and held my ground. I felt that was better than quickly fleeing as a) they already knew it was me anyway and b) in a strange way I felt by staying there I was claiming responsibility for the fart even though they didn’t say ‘euuuugh’ and wrinkle their noses (although they must have felt like it) and I didn’t say “sorry, yes, that was me….um…..I bent down for the camera at precisely the wrong moment, I will now attempt to fan it out of the window. Anyone got any oust?”
Since then I haven’t eaten, I am not deliberately starving myself, I just don’t fancy eating. Food is not in the agenda. My appetite was tested when I met my Mum for a coffee (the latte went down fine by the way so my tummy must be on the mend now) and saw a beautiful display of homemade cakes and chocolate loveliness and didn’t fancy any of it – not even a crumb. Now is it wrong that I am in fact enjoying this loss of appetite because I am thinking about how many pounds I might be shedding. Or is my body just going into starvation mode and just saving every pound of flesh it can? Either way I wonder how long you can actually go without food. According to an article discovered on a brief internet search, 2 months apparently!
I am blogging every day to raise money for Unicef. For every missed day of blogging (like yesterday) I pay Unicef £1. If you are able to support me please visit my fundraising page.